- Captain Awesome
So, I was walking to work today, on not even a block away from my house I see a gorgeous 20 something jogging … SHIRTLESS. It was at this moment I was like, should I trip and fall into his arms.. but I was late for work so unfortunately that wasn’t really an option. As I was walking to Queens, I decided 2 things
1 – Dustin would like to hear about this
2- I would like to hear about hot kiwi boys
Anyways, continuing on my walk I saw in a distance another man running. Now I could tell from afar that he would not be as pretty as boy 1, but I thought hey, can’t be too picky. Well, upon closing the gap I saw it was a 45 year old chubby crazy guy running in order to make the fan in his hand work. And I thought, this is awesome, perhaps I should help him in his quest. But again, late for work and I continued on my journey.
Finally, not a block away from the office I saw a man and woman holding hands, and I thought, aw, cute old people love. Well, I walked by what I am almost positive was a meth'ed out hooker (who had a lumberjack shirt on, unbuttoned with a pink bra on and her belly for the world to see – I will commend her, she didn’t have a gut, but the skin was all saggy and icky). The man she was with I am 95% was either a john or her pimp. And I thought to myself, is there time to cross the street really fast, or would that be awkward…
So, I have come to the conclusion that 2 out of 3 times, Big D has blocked me from a sexy/fun morning, but has saved me from becoming a drug raddled lady of the night. I also realized, while I took the final ascent in the escalator that this quite mimicked Mr. Eastwoods fine work, and as such I have named the e-mail after the cinematic piece of art. I also realized (not for the first time) how boring this office is without you, because there is literally no one else that I could share this story with. So BOO on you for leaving me alone.
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